I flay myself open. The scalpel draws a red line down my chest. Sharp metal like a zip. The skin tugged back. Look there, the red flesh of me. Sinew and meat. Glistening, shiny me. I lie opened. On display. Skin pinned back like the wings of a moth, like the grand curtain of a stage. The line of each perfect muscle. The shape of bone. The connections of cartilage. And you stare. And stare. Mouth turned down in concentration. Brow furrowed. Your gaze intense. You watch the dance of veins and ponder the pulse of a hidden, bruised heart. You cup your chin in your hand. You sigh, and you say, “This is not what I expected”.
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do you want me to stitch you back up…. or are you ok like that for a while?
Is there a Nurse in the house
that takes guts.
now, i’m going to stand here with a baseball bat and shoo away any vultures….
Fuck me, Dais. What a little excruciating exercise. But yet, needs must.
The vultures. Those were my favourite characters in the Jungle book
Watya wanna do?
I don’t know, what YOU wanna do?
I don’t know. Let’s do *somethin’*
So. Whatya wanna do?
When I do massage I frequently feel that underlying thing that is going on. I don’t always see it so graphically, but I feel the tension in the muscles, the emotional pain that transfers to physical pain. There is a reason why they say “her heart was broken”
I’m going to Thailand for a week’s work and a week’s leave. During the week’s leave, I plan on a massage every single day.
That aside, I’ve always found it interesting how we hold emotion in our body. I definitely feel it. Exercise is helping.
Oh, you are so right about holding emotion in the body. People find a muscle someplace and stuff the feeling they can’t deal with in it and lock it down.
Massage every single day for a week? Make sure you drink lots of detoxing tea and water, you will be releasing a lot of metabolic toxins from your tissue as well as emotion. Do not be surprised if you experience a huge emotional release sometime along the way. I have had more than one person crying on my table when they finally let go of what they were holding onto.
Blessed be.
Oh, I hope so. Some release would be lovely!
Startling imagery. And yet, being unexpected, does not make it less real. It takes courage to open oneself up to scrutiny, doesn’t it? Many would not, could not, be so bold. I sincerely hope that it is helping in healing.
Rob, to be honest, I don’t know. I just feel exposed. And I’m just hoping that what I’ve done is about truth and not about self harm. Or I’ve just fucked it up. Again.
And you stare. And stare. Mouth turned down in concentration.
how did you know…?
Cackle. You too then?
Beautifully expressed, Dolce. Your writing skills are considerable.
Aaah, Syncie, thank you. The words have been POURING out of me recently. Gouts of the stuff. Which i think is a sign that I’m coming back to myself. I only write when my insides have processed what’s going on.
Excellent news! x
Am i the only one who finds this strangely erotic? hmm.
Strangely, it was written with an erotic undertone. True sexual intimacy can be incredibly exposing.
Great writing Dolce!
Subject matter a tad disturbing. Too close self examination is often painful I find.
Hey! Flutts! How lovely to see you lurking about here
Isn’t pain the pathway though? That’s what I’m telling myself