Limerick (noun)

a five-line humorous poem with regular metre and rhyme patterns, often dealing with a risqué subject and typically opening with a line such as ‘There was a young lady called Jenny’.

What started as comment, has been suggested as a blog. Following in the great blogmark tradition of imagining fellow bloggers to life in various ways, I offer, just as a starter, the humble limerick-.

It all began with-

There once was a blogger called Dex
Who liked to posture and flex
his words for the girls
all giggles and curls
like a literary Tyrannosaurus Rex

Some new offerings…

Have you heard of Blue_Peter?
Who drinks his red wine by the litre
When he’s deep in the drink
He pretends he’s a shrink
And counsels the loon and wife beater

Awoven amongst our fine blogs
Are the two M de Waal called the Trogs
Full of whinging and mutter
(And a wife who’s a nutter)
The two are a couple of dogs

There was a young dude called Mica
Who apparently was quite the hiker
He trundled up hills
(no doubt goofed out on pills)
Dressed up in big boots, like a biker

And some other ones from the first comment-

I know an old poet called Jack
Who has a spectacular knack:
A quite bendy agility
of fellating ability
For which he’s taken some flack

Housewives and dreamers, achtung
For Andreas, who quotes Kafka and Jung
He’s out for a fight
With the left or the right
A blogmark Moa Zedong


And some additions-..
From Dex
There once was a girl named Gabbana
Her words drifted down just like manna
yeah the kid makes us smile
-give ger ten points for style-
But she can’t keep a man
Or a fella.


From Mica
A young, pretty blogger named Pi
Took a dirty weekend with her guy
They were found stoned and pissed
Wearing slippers in the mist
Throwing boerewors chunks at the sky


15 thoughts on “Limericks

  1. ramon says:

    You forgot me!

  2. ramon says:

    There once was a blogger called Dolce
    She was a bit of a falsy
    Man, she was funny
    And, oh, quite a honey
    Pity about the sagging tits, though!

    No, just kidding
    My favourite:

    There once was a man from Belgrave
    Who kept his wife in a cave
    you must admit
    ‘e was a bit of a shit
    But think of the money he saved!

  3. dolce says:

    Ramona, what is the fuss
    You’re obsessed with ze van and a bus
    Now go get a life
    Or shag Marco’s wife
    I’m done, man, this is a lus

    Are you happy now….*grin*

  4. ramon says:

    Brilliant! Thanx, you’ve made my day.

    *Ramon packs up his laptop,
    He goes outside.
    It starts to rain, but the green bus doesn’t stop…*

    Now, you see, Dolce the blogger
    You are quite the bugger
    You do write the line
    Especially with wine
    But leave it for the Trogger!

  5. marco says:

    The chicks in CT or loose
    because they smoke doob
    their brain is in a state
    because that’s were they at.

  6. ramon says:

    I told you to leave it for the pro’s!

  7. micatyro says:

    Chuck my Pi one in, otherwise she might not see it when she gets back from Springs.

  8. bluepeter says:

    … um, you know what I mean! Ok, here’s a sweet one for you:

    There once was a blogger so sweet
    she’d charm all the strangers she’d meet.
    The boys all started to rhyme
    had a fucking great time.
    “Cool game,” said the crusty blue_pete.

  9. bluepeter says:

    A drunkard and poet is new Dolce
    whose bar-room exploits are quite legendary.
    She once snogged a goat
    right down to his throat.
    I mean, gross, where’s her femininity?

    And then one for Zeph:

    A journo by trade is our Zee
    with some tats and a child who’s not 3.
    She turned 30 this year
    with some snot and a tear.
    “Where’s my life gone?” Who cares, now you’re free!

  10. zephilla says:

    I haven’t turned 30 yet. That only happens in August….

  11. jacktonsil says:

    There once was a man from Belgrave
    Who kept a dead whore in a cave
    ‘Ok, I admit
    I’m a bit of a shit
    But look at the money I save’.

  12. bluepeter says:

    sorry I called you an unfeminine drunkard there, was just trying to get you back for saying I was a pretend shrink with a drinking problem! Liked the way you called AJ the Mao Zedong of the blog – that was class. Here’s one I wrote about Hanabi, which seems very tame now given all the comments this morning:

    Have you followed the talk around Hanabi
    who’s our resident lesbian wannabe?
    AJ called her a cunt,
    which was incredibly blunt
    and caused no end of controversy.

  13. dolce says:

    *cackle* – you scribble a good limerick! And the crack about being an rowdy alkie is not far off (actually) and definitely deserved…

  14. bluepeter says:

    … since I should rather be doing my research. But unfortunately doggerell is quite addictive:

    A blind date with prissy young Jill
    Is worse than the dentist’s big drill.
    She’s as chaste as a nun,
    not even wine makes her fun,
    and I always land up with the bill.

    Ok, enough, I promise 😉

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