Swinging on the swing. Watching the world blur. Feeling the pendulum rock me into a kind of meditation. Waiting for something. Again. Thinking random, half-formed thoughts. About swimming naked in the sea. About hurt and how it feels. About the way your pulse moves in the line of your neck. About envy; the grace of dancers defying gravity. About tomorrow’s board meeting. About the taste of lime and champagne. About the farm.

And I wonder, as the swing slows and my feet kick dust into the air, why does this life still feel so on the cusp? Unrooted. Unraveled. Why do these moments only find me when I’m almost at my most centered? When I think it’s good and the way it should be. Why does the nagging crawl of doubt slide in and wait. Again. Why do I feel halved. And undecided. And little.

And the moment passes. And as I walk away, the shifting sky reminds me that small does not necessarily mean done.


23 thoughts on “Swing

  1. andreas says:

    Sounds like something’s missing in your life.

    Maybe you should try swinging?

  2. dolce says:

    (aside: one of these days I’m going slip up and call you Annie, but so far, I’ve resisted…but just in warning)

    Swinging? Nope. I’m in that delicious little covetous phase when I’m just not willing to share. Or be shared.

    I am missing my fekkin’ cell phone tho, I swear I put it underneath that pile of papers and now it ain’t there. Don’t you hate having to ring yourself, just to know where you are?

  3. wizard says:

    to stop playing in the park and get back to school…. now get!


  4. andreas says:

    Let’s not go to the Annie place, girl.

    So, did you find yourself?

  5. dex says:

    When (yes: when) you do decide to start sharing yourself, please just remember to change your alias to Dol-Ché, okay?

    So that we’ll know when the time is right – it’ll be our secret little sign.

    On our side, of course, It’ll read “Pull in, boys

  6. andreas says:

    Haha…and we can always give BP a lollipop and a copy of I’m ok, you’re ok to keep him occupied.

  7. dolce says:

    I’m going to play with my ponies again this weekend. Am in dire need of some fresh farm air, a couple of icecold Ammies and some homecookin’….

  8. dolce says:

    the internal video cam I call my thinker just whined pitifully and died a fiz bang death.

    I’m picturing Dex’s little 24 Avatar, in half uniform and AJ with his white legs and stokies all aquiver for a little shared stiletto action.

    Oh, boys, if only you knew how deeply, passionately, spankingly tempting that picture is….

    …if I could print it and post it.

    *dreamy sigh*

  9. wizard says:

    be careful saying things like that. Some might think pony-girls, then they will get all hot and bothered.
    *big grin*
    I know what you mean – been a hectic week.

  10. dolce says:

    Why not? It’s better than Barbie….which is also strangely tempting.

  11. andreas says:

    we’re gonna have to think up some other way to high-five each other now, huh, Dex?

  12. dolce says:

    type of pony girl or tight jods and a whip type pony girl?

  13. dex says:

    this Dolce’s a clever one. Too clever.

  14. andreas says:

    You’re quite a fucking perve, aren’t you, Wiz?

  15. andreas says:

    Dolce is waaay more pervy than you are.

  16. dolce says:

    and filled with all kinds of useful, pervy information. Quite the educator…..

  17. wizard says:

    Just harness … and a tail of course.

  18. dolce says:

    now I’ve got the giggles again.

    Neigh, Sir…that’s too much rough ridin’ for a sweet little poppet like me.

  19. dolce says:

    you don’t want to know then?

  20. wizard says:

    Got my BHS Stage 1 to 3 and Instructors Exams

  21. andreas says:

    I’ve kinda heard about Wiz, already.

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