There is nothing quite like the ugly cry.
Some chicks manage to weep in a soft focus, smudge proof way. You know, in that big doe-eyed, silent, single tear tracking silver against a peachy cheek kinda way. Or the kind of gentle weep where their mascara runs in a sexy, distressed way. Where they end up looking like a heroine in a tragic French film rather than like Marilyn Manson playing a panda.
But the ugly cry is bitch.
You know its coming. Your chin starts to wobble. Or your mouth takes that slight downward curve in one corner that’s just on this side of control. Your eyes fill. You know you’re just one 80s rock ballad away from losing it in a very nasty way.
[Jesus, let this not happen in public].
And before you know it your face is scrunched up in that eye swelling, throat catching, breath snatchin’, snot all over the place type of cry that makes you feel like you’ve been hit by a bus. The kind of cry where you just need to stop everything and put your hands over your face. That kind of cry that seems to come from outside you. That you worry you won’t be able to stop.
There’s no looking French after that kinda cry. Well, ok, if you’ve got no-name-brand tissues you might find yourself with a more than striking resemblance to GÃ©rard Depardieu. But you ain’t coming out of that looking like Sophie Marceau.
In fact, if you’re lucky, no one actually ever sees your ugly cry, except maybe your mother and possibly one very close mate, who hopefully was too drunk to remember. Keep it that way. Generally, people don’t relate well to the ugly cry. It makes them un-coooom-fortable. Squirmingly uncomfortable. Not many casual relationships can handle an ugly cry. It’s the bad taste of overshare. It’s the cry version of jumping the couch. Maybe it’s the loss of control. Maybe it’s the raw emotion. (Maybe it’s the snot.) But when you cry like that, you cry alone.
But there’s something about the ugly cry. It might be vicious. Best avoided in public. And definitely not for sharing. But it’s self indulgent. Cathartic. And sometimes very, very necessary.