Customer Care #2: Truworths shows us how it’s done


[after 37 minutes of automated telephone call centre crap and 6 ‘please hold’’s]

Me: Hi. This is Ms Dolce Vita. You sent me a store card I didn’t ask for and I’d like to know who gave you permission to market to me.

Truworths: Oh, we bought your details from a list company (Data Design btw). That’s how they make their money.

Me: You don’t say. And you don’t care that I haven’t given you permission to market to me?

Truworths: We don’t have to. But I’ll take you off our list if you’re that concerned about it.

Me: Aaah. Right. Yes please.

I get it. Piss me off by sending me spam. Then piss me off some more by basically telling me you don’t give a toss. Then cap it by making me feel like I’m overreacting.

Nice Truworths. Nice.

43 thoughts on “Customer Care #2: Truworths shows us how it’s done

  1. micatyro says:

    …and they sell shoes too… that was a tough decision…

  2. littlewheel says:

    try reporting a stolen card..

  3. wizard says:

    When you pay, if they give you a carrier-bag then ask for your 10 cents advertising fee. Tell them it’s 10 cents for two hour ‘free’ advertising.

  4. Ok, that was a bit of a slip, to post the poem there — flattered that you know of the site, however. I stopped writing for lack of an audience; now, perhaps, I’ll have cause to continue. Not here, though, sadly. Not as alice’s boyfriend, anyhow. Ah, well, it doesn’t matter; I didn’t really like the name. Maybe next time I’ll just be Alice. Who knows, if I give just a moment’s thought to disguising myself, I may just manage to avoid this interminable debate. Or maybe I will come back as a guy and we can, you know, get close and … personal. Or maybe I’ll still be a girl, a Jamiacan lesbian or something, and we can get close… and personal. I can see the first post already: Hi, I’m calypso-mango, and I’m a black lesbi— No, to obvious. How about: Hi, I’m a seedy white guy pretending to be a Jamaican lesbian— No, that’s not it either. But, I’ll work at it. And you can bet I’ll hide well behind my words – this is the net and you’re fair game for me, baby.

    Ag, I’m kidding, but you get my meaning, I’m sure. I’ll tell you something for truth, though, Dolce – not through the effect of character or the hyperbole of poetry – I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t reconciled to it in my own mind. That would make me feel bad. And I don’t feel bad. Wanna know why? Because I don’t feel a trace of concern about your indignation. (Here’s where, if I was given to name-calling, I would insert a phrase, preceded by ‘you’ along the lines of ‘sanctimonious bitc— but I am trying to be nice.)

    What’s with you thinking that my supposed ‘guilt’ would preclude me from being on a blog site, anyway? You believe in some kind of honour thing, do you? Like Hari Kiri? I mean this is really ‘the rub’ isn’t it? The point, D, as in your comment you so blissfully skirted, is not about judgment. That’s done and dusted. The point is, what the fuck have you got to say about me being on a blogsite?

    It seems you’ll happily come visit me on another— Ag, this is so boring. Keep watching for that ‘other’ identity…

    ps: I hi-jacked your thread because, well, the term ‘hi-jack’ was too good to miss… Actually, it was to get even. I just wanted to see what came of the poem, but you turned it into the same bullshit. Get it through, for fuck’s sake, I’m not here to relive some twisted psychological fantasy – that’s your bag of worms – I was just missing the words. And this is the world, for now, man, like I said in the other comment. How do you get off the world??

  5. fgb says:

    Listen studley. This might be a Blog site and you might not ever meet the people you insult or critisize, but fuck man, DOlce is still a lady, and if you don’t respect that, well, dan is ek jammer om van jou kak te hoor, jou dom drol.

    And you want to get off the world, Yassus, do us all a favour and………Well, there’s 2 options. Jump in front of a train(a moving one preferably) or wank yourself to death….that’s if you can even get it up.

  6. I always find one’s choice of words uncovers one’s preoccupations, don’t you? Come on, man, you’ve just fallen into a fairly basic, but nontheless classic and generally telling trap. I, for one, will always see you in a certain light. And I guess, now, everyone else will as well. And it’s not very pleasant. So keep what’s on you mind so late at night to yourself.

  7. Can you imagine my horror this morning on realising I couldn’t delete this comment. No? Well, in hindsite I regret posting everything I did and would rather you hadn’t seen this, in particular. Apologies (for what those are worth).

  8. kchasu says:

    Hello. What the hell is going on? I don’t understand why people are having an issue with you? Please explain the history. I am relatively new on this blog and am baffled beyond belief.

  9. micatyro says:

    …Google Jack Tonsil… might give you some clue…

  10. kchasu says:

    I did but all i get is some tour de france cycle crap blog?

  11. dolce says:

    Get it through.

    I do Jack, I do. If I didn’t, my sanctimonious self would be all over the likes of…oh, nevermind, they’re not relevant.

    My point, Jack, is that you have the whole wide twisted world of the internet to play in. Go play. And if you choose here that’s fine. But if I see you, tripped up somehow in your own dark, verbose themes, I will remind you that I don’t like you. To every action, a reaction. You’re dangerous Jack. You have no rules. No line. And while that’s fine (admired, swooned over even) in the cut and thrust of the ‘mark, it’s not in the real. And it’s the knowledge of that doubled self that makes me rage. I can’t erase the knowing. Even to have a sliver tongued poet back in the game. I’m privy to a part of what the words mask and it’s unforgivable.

  12. dolce says:

    kak shoes. All sweaty pleather that makes your feet pong.

  13. dolce says:

    getting a charge reversed.


  14. dolce says:

    not a bad idea. But I suspect they’d just ask security to escort me from the building. Assuming they could find security.

  15. garym says:

    That’s pretty rich coming from you…

  16. micatyro says:

    …would’ve probably been easier to ‘fess up at the get go… there are a few smart folks here who picked you up very quickly… but I guess that wasn’t part of the game.

    There was quite an intense anti-JT campaign, and of course people have been meeting and talking outside of the blog… you ‘ain’t Mr Popular, put it that way. I still don’t know the story, and it doesn’t concern me to know, but you always manage to come across as some kind of sleazebag… I don’t know how you do it unless it is inherent in your personality, maybe it’s just the all-pervading stink of monster ego that taints everything you write… and I don’t mean the deodorant… and always the not-so-veiled threats, the insults and ‘I couldn’t give a fuck about you anyway’ attitude, it’s all so formulaic – headline; body copy; pay-off. I used to ask Dreaded if he was going to meet you for a drink somewhere maybe I could drop by… in retrospect it’s a good thing I didn’t… we wouldn’t have liked each other very much at all… and then of course, your old varsity buddy Dreaded didn’t rate very highly with you anyway, you clearly thought him a minor intellect and a bit of a loser… hey, if that’s the way you feel about your friends you must really love the crowd here at blogmark.

    Sayonara JT, AB… and whatever new name you come up with… and really man, you ain’t so clever that you can ‘hide’ behind your words… you’re a lot more transparent than you think.

  17. tamaryne says:

    on the blog for long either, and sometimes it feels like people here don’t wanna talk to me.. I think because I stuck up for myself once or twice. As far as I remember Jack was the only person who was friendly when I first joined, oh and Gary of course… there is this ‘click’ here on the blog, and it actually hurts that for some reason revealing my age booted me off the ‘click’ so Alice’s boyfriend you are not alone.

  18. bovinerebel says:

    don’t trust Gary…he’s like “that” uncle …always got a niece on his lap (if you know what I mean)…

    he he he…ok that was uncalled for…you know I love you Gary!

  19. tamaryne says:

    if he tried, even when he is being nasty he comes across as a fluffy bunny hey? Its like my mom, she cannot give a dirty look to save her life. My sister and I tease her and ask her to ‘skeef’ us out–it ends up as us laughing hysterically at her. When I feel down I mention her ex and ask her to now pretend I’m him..and subsequently laugh some more.

  20. dolce says:

    Jack’s not nice. He’s predatory.


    Don’t habour any romantic delusions about him. He’s definitely in the not nice category.

    And I know this place can seem cliquey, but it’s also largely a timing and topic thing. I still feel like I can’t get in on the convo’s people like Misericordia have. And when Sundays and Dex or Gazza get going, I feel like a complete philistine.

  21. kchasu says:

    You are a sensible bloke, with an interest in getting sex from me at some stage, so please explain what the problem is with this Tonsil/Alices boyfriend? I am baffled and all the posts are clogging my environment without me knowing a damn thing about the issue.

    Love you long time…

  22. tamaryne says:

    Thanks for the pep talk, i’m quite sensitive and I was wondering that maybe that was the reason, well I see it is not! thank God cause my job is really boring. I wish I had read more of Jacks stuff, all I remember was the Giraffe peom and then Sugar n spite telling him to spare us and take his rubbish off the blog.

  23. dolce says:

    Jack used to blog here. He was cutthroat and twisted and evil, the way we like ’em here in blogland. He wrote some outstanding poetry. And really pushed people’s buttons. (Bov’s got nuttin’ on this guy. Practically Mother Theresa in comparison)

    He knew another blogger offline, so to speak. He hurt that blogger.

    Can’t share anything else because I promised the other blogger.

    But take my word for it.

    He’s pond scum. The really noxious, slimy, disgusting kind.

  24. bovinerebel says:

    I like to think people see through my nasty facade…the way I see it stupid people hate me and smart people think I’m funny…

    side note …

    how the hell could you ever trust someone who always acts nice ? nobody ever acts without agenda….my abolute worst type of person is mr “nice guy” who always over friendly to all the girls….it’s a given that there is no such thing as ultimate altriusm ….so we don’t need to guess that he’s got a motive….watch “mr nice guy”…he will always be talking down other men , gossiping like a freaking wormtongue ..slowly chipping away at his little plan of getting some action in his sinister , sociopathic own way…..

    all he does is imitate what he considers to be popular behaviour…listening , saying the right thing , doing calculated favours …but it’s not real…its histrionic…it’s not from the heart….

    every social group has a “mr nice guy”…and he’s always speaking shit about the bovinerebel in the group…it’s a cold war…you can’t tell mr nice guy to fuck off ..because he’s got the supposive moral high ground….meanwhile a careful observer would note he’s a fucking sociopath….

    give me a good imperfect honest to the core person anyday…I could never trust someone always acting nice….and I pity the people who would fall for the oldest and most unsophisticated trick in the book…

  25. kchasu says:

    I think I see. Bov is quite like MT actually – sort of cute and cuddly and warm. He just hides it well. Deep down I reckon he is a Care Bear and probably goes to church on sundays.


  26. tamaryne says:

    the most honest boyfriend I ever had was quite nasty to me when I first met him, ok and when we dated he was quite blunt–couldnt take him to alot of places and he had the kindest heart ever. The most dishonest and scary boyfriend I ever had was a perfect gent to me, the perfect guy.

  27. dolce says:

    I know you’re all fluffy and delicious on the inside. Like a prickly pear. Or something.

    But it’s not the Mr. Nice Guy that’s always the most dangerous. It’s the mysterious intellectual guy in the black leather with the book of poetry and the look of wounded angst in his soulful eyes that can really fuck you up. Women fall for that guy. He can be a real bastard, but then he’ll always surprise you with a meaningful glimpse of his sensitive inner workings. Pushes all the Cathy/Heathcliff buttons. Think they can fix him. Make him better. Meanwhile. He actually is just a bastard.

  28. bovinerebel says:

    lets not push it…if I met a care bare ..depending on gender..I’ll either stick rape it…or eat it…

    got no idea who this Jack is….judging he’s not sitting in jail whatever he did can’t be so bad….so I’m not buying the drama …..

    who the fuck is MT ? every moment of cheek guarantees you one less orgasm K chasu….

  29. kchasu says:

    Mother Theresa.


  30. bovinerebel says:

    you just described K chasu “man” …

    yeah…I was playing that “dark” “tormented” “angsty” card for years…then I went to asia and lived like a rock the hook levels of debauchery and promiscuity……took some acid and got a glimpse of myself…it freaked me the fuck out…that’s the fuel that fires my hate for all posers/wankers/bullshitters of the world…(including “artists” K chasu)….we always hate in others that which we recognise as weak in ourselves…

  31. ramon says:

    Bovine comes over as Mr.T sometimes.

  32. kchasu says:

    But fuller of shit than a septic tank.

  33. bovinerebel says:

    Now there’s a man to love…have you been trawling my website ?

    I hate flying…I’m black from the waste down (don’t act like you not impressed) ….I kick ass….but the comparrison stops there…

    and this rate K chasu’ll be lucky if I even let you fallate me…


    speaking of total toss balls…anyone heard of tucker max ? …the fact that women find this joker attractive is testiment to the fact that women are dumb as shit and easily manipulated by hype and bullshit…

  34. tamaryne says:

    Bovine, but don’t you get tired of hearing yourself disagreeing all the time.

  35. kchasu says:


    Oh God. I nearly wet myself laughing about his anal sex experiment. Buwahahahahahhahahaaaha.



  36. bovinerebel says:

    k chasu…take it back…say you don’t like this toss?

    fistly his stories are exageratted crap…and even if they are true they still aren’t funny…it’s like reading penthouse letters , except slightly poorer quality….

    he’s frumpy , pasty , and short ….and claims he’s some kind of alpha male babe magnet……which is insulting to the intelligence of everyone except helen keller…

    tamnaryne …get some proper fucking opinions and I wont disagree….not(all) my fucking fault the world is full of shit…

    About Tucker Max

    tucker max is a douche

  37. garym says:

    you know I love you Gary

    Don’t go soft now, we need at least one prick on the ‘mark ….

    Although you are only the poor man’s version of that other guy.

  38. garym says:

    You only had a temporary membership to the click. It expired because you never posted any compromising pictures of yourself.

    Seriously, there’s no click here that I know of. It’s a subject that has been raised before, and perhaps it just seems so because people have histories on the blog – and people that may have been on the blog longer than others refer to things that you may not know about.

    Your age makes no difference, it’s all in what you say – that’s all there is here on blogmark.

  39. fgb says:

    I, for one, don’t give shit about fancy words and to trying to make other people look kak so everybody can think I’m actually great, like you’re trying. SO do me a favour en gaan naai jou hand.
    Dom drol

  40. sam says:

    Sam Sly says:

    “I, for one, don’t give shit about fancy words …”

    I think what this poor person actually means is “I, for one, doesn’t know many words, hey, so I’ll just use the few words a can remembers from standard two, OK?”

    Ag shame, man. Can’t someone give him a bursary to move on to grade 5? He may succeed in adding a few words to his vocabulary and qualify to become a politician.

  41. fgb says:

    Ja, aangesien jy nou jou bek uitgespoel het oor my sogenaamde spelfoute en dat ek blykbaar ‘n beurs nodig het om na graad vyf toe te gaan, hoekom wees jy nie my redder op die wit perd en bied vir my ‘n beurs aan nie, of is jy te kak bang dat ek wel uitwys dat jy eintlik die Alice is wie se sogenaamde vriend probeer blog…???

  42. garym says:

    the way I see it stupid people hate me and smart people think I’m funny

    There are other options . . .

  43. bovinerebel says:

    No Gary M-thoery (he has many dimensions, don’t you know ?)…thereare no other options…

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