Dizzy Lizzy

Oh goodie. I have Labyrinthitis. After three or four days of feeling unbelievably dizzy and nauseous and very, very tired, I finally went to the Doc.

I say oh goodie, of course, because the night before I saw Doc Louw my coven decided I was pregnant.

Tired? They asked, maternal eyes glinting wickedly.


(Much rubbing of hands)

Are you sure you’re not up the duff?

So I lay awake, Tuesday night. Not.Frikkin’.Sleeping. Wondering ‘what if?’ Would this would be a beginning or an end? Sure, my various mothers would be doing back flips (amazing how ‘unwed mother’ becomes less of an expletive the more the years after the dreaded egg-killing 30 tick over). And I have to admit the nesting urge has been strong of late. But it would suck a bit. Financially. And stuff.

Nevertheless. I digress.

Having reconciled myself to the fact that I could either still be drunk from M’s wedding or possibly PG, I wobbled off to Doc Louw and demanded he save me. Which he does. Regularly. Hypochondria runs deep in our family.

Viral Labyrinthitis, he declared. Authoritatively. An infection of the inner year.

Basically, the inner ear controls balance. And if the balance ain’t working, you’re stuffed. For anyone who has ever felt seasick, it’s kinda like that. Only worse. And you don’t get spectacular sunsets, dolphins and hot sea men.

So, armed with a week’s worth of seasickness tablets, rather off-puttingly called Stugeron, I’m wobbling forth. Attempting not to chunder on the Easter lunch or fall over during the Easter Egg hunt (like anyone would notice). My life! Sheesh.

Have a safe one, bloggers.


17 thoughts on “Dizzy Lizzy

  1. bovinerebel says:

    ha !

    Amateur…if I got something , I’d get something cool like …hugedickalitus…

    although I’m not sure you can get that twice


  2. dolce says:

    if you got that twice, Bov, I’d drop everything (including my knickers) and be there like a nut-hordin’ squirrel.

  3. bovinerebel says:

    Well I feel a case of it coming on …

    Baby, it’s your lucky day!

  4. dex says:

    when you get diagnosed with hugedickheadalitus, you can’t just scratch out the ‘head‘ because you want to. It doesn’t change the actual desease, you know…

  5. bovinerebel says:

    Don’t be so pedantic…a head scratched out here or there doesn’t count in the grand scheme of things….

    …work with me brother…I think I’m finally making a dent in Dolce stubborn refusal to shag me…

  6. dex says:

    I’ve been trying for a year to get ol’ Frigidaire here to warm up to me. You really think I’m gonna sit back and not make doubly sure you fail too?

  7. dolce says:

    if you’re really lucky, I’ll have a severe bout of equilibrium failure and fall over in the prime position for advantage-taking.


    [scratches head]

    Quietly, to self: wonder if that would actually work?

    um…what was I saying?

  8. bovinerebel says:

    rumour has it if you try that around Dex…that’s not the only “failure” that’s going to happen


    (So It’s come to this Dex ? Damn you Dolce ..damn you and your taut buttocks ! )

  9. flutter says:

    Definition: hugedickalitus, physchiatric condition, patient with acorn like knobs in delusional state believe they have huge dicks.

    I think if you get it twice, your dick must be shrinking.

  10. bovinerebel says:

    What’s with this conspiracy to stop me shagging dolce ?

  11. dex says:

    The gloves are off now.

    But then again, maybe not… I guess it’s like that old Australian cricket song:

    Waugh… ugh! What is it good for – absolutely nothing…

    okay. I’m gonna drink beer now.

  12. flutter says:

    You’re right, I’ll leave you to it then.

    You seem to be making such good progress there 😉

    Whats this about a new girlfriend???

  13. bovinerebel says:

    Man…I don’t even remembr getting on the gossip train….new girlfriend….? Who’ve you been speaking to ?

    *something dawns on bovinerebel

    Calls loudly in an accusatory “you gonna get it” tone…”K chassssuuuu !”

  14. bovinerebel says:

    Look mate..lets not fight…we’ll share her….you just be the one to put the idea to her ok ?

    and if she claims I flat out denied it…hey…that’s woman for you buddy….

    *shakes head

    thats woman for you …

  15. […] Labyrinthitis came back.  It’s like being drunk, but without the fun of being pissed.  You’re wobbly on your […]

  16. nursemyra says:

    Is bovinerebel available?


  17. Dolce says:

    Aaah Nursie – that was in the good old days of BlogMark / OneLongMinute. But if you say his name three times and put a dildo under your pillow, he might just appear again 🙂

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