cowboy-2.jpgA post from 302 reminded me of one of the dilemmas of my childhood.  Fek.  And my adulthood if the truth be told. I love Westerns.  Preferably in book form and in particular those by author, Louis L’Amour.  If movies, then the more modern ones, like “Unforgiven”.  But all those hard eyed, lean cowboys with granite hearts and quick fingers thrilled my frontier blood.  There was something about the lone man on his horse, searching for love and justice, but pretty damn sure he’s going to find trouble instead, that just made me want. 

I wanted to be that cowboy.  I wanted to be the woman who warmed his heart. I wanted to be the outlaw who knew life was short and death quick.  I wanted to live on the move, with a horse as my only friend and the horizon my only ally.   And those books taught me useful things.  I learnt to never look directly into the flames of a night fire.  I learnt that chewing leather can provide a day’s more sustenance.  I learnt that one should always share ones campfire with strangers.  I learnt that the ranchers can’t always be trusted and that sometimes friends arrived in unlikely forms.  And I learnt that if I looked hard enough,Table Mountain could look like a mesa.

 All that aside, one of my greatest issues was what kind of western woman I wanted to be.  The stoic, single (usually widowed) woman in plain clothes whose brave stance on the porch with her rifle spoke volumes about courage and resilience.  Or the warm, voluptuous bordello Madame who knew the secrets of men and whose big heart was masked by the need to survive in a man’s world.   

The virgin or the whore.  It’s always been that way.  The leather clad biker vixen or the wispy white dress wearing hippy?  The buxom, corseted, spike heeled dom, or the preppy dorm girl in her twin set, pearls and GTi?  The mistress or the wife.  Madonna or…um….Madonna. 

I think I’m both.  That’s not the problem. A lot of people are both.  It’s just that one is usually kept to the bedroom or not given a public voice.  The problem is that I usually decide who I am today when the alarm clock goes off.  (And the bigger problem is that I don’t have the cash to afford the associated wardrobe!)  And mostly, people don’t like it when you’re both.  It makes them uncomfortable. They can’t put you in a nice square, easily stored box.    Sometimes I wonder.  What it would be like to choose.  Which one is more me?  Some days, I’m standing there, rifle in hand, in my sensible work boots, coldly staring down the bad guys while they try to rustle my cows.  Other days I’m dressed in a low-cut red velvet dress, black choker at my milky-white throat, leaning over the bar to pour another shot of tequila while that cowboy drowns in my décolletage.   

But I suppose what’s interesting, is that either way, whichever archetype I’m choosing, I’m choosing someone strong.  I’m independent.  I’m ok on my own, if I have to be.  And that’s what counts, right?


29 thoughts on “Cowboys

  1. arbchick says:

    You GO girl! Kick em down with those stirrup clustered boots and then nestle their tired heads in your ample bosom. I know where you’re coming from – I just can’t express myself today – ho hum.

    Tell you what though – I’ve always had an obsession with the Southern woman archetype – Scarlet O’Hara when her life turned to shit. Then again – if this life doesn’t work out for me – I’m going to shave all my hair off, start some serious weight lifting, decorate my body with mean ass tatoos, buy myself a one way ticket to the States, purchase one of those mother trucks and become a hard core, fuck for luck trucker…what’ya’reckon?

  2. dex says:

    Yes Dolce.

    That is exactly what counts.

    And, I can kinda picture you with a six-shooter in the garter (that is what it’s called, right? that incredibly sexy lacy stretchy thing around the thigh?) Looking all pretty but ready shoot ’em down. I like.

  3. Flutter says:

    Hey D, cool blog.

    They are very formulaic but just love them. Saw Broken Trail with Robert Duvall recently. Life was so much simpler back then.

  4. dolce says:

    Haha Arb – actually, I always liked the thought of being a mutha truckin’ fucker….but all those mullets put me off! And I’m talking about the chicks!

  5. Arbchick says:

    LOL Dolce – yea but the pro’s outweigh the con’s – I mean, just think – life is a roadtrip!

  6. dolce says:

    That’s exactly it, Dexter. Didn’t you removed one from the bat’s thigh one white-clad night?

    Anyway…indeed. Like that Roald Dahl quote from Little Red Riding Hood in Revolting Rhymes:

    “The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.
    She whips a pistol from her knickers.
    She aims it at the creature’s head
    And bang, bang, bang, she shoots him dead.

    A few weeks later, in the wood,
    I came across Miss Riding Hood.
    But what a change! No cloak of red,
    No silly hood upon her head.
    She said, ‘Hello, and do please note
    ‘My lovely furry WOLF-SKINCOAT.’

  7. dolce says:

    Fluts…simpler…but also with slightly less hygiene. Every time I get really involved in the semi-nostalgia for a byegone era, I remember the spitoons!

  8. dolce says:

    I donno, Arb. I’m pretty anti-mullet.

  9. dolce says:

    PS Fluts. I thought for a moment you were saying my blogs were formulaic. I was momentarily crushed. And then I worked it out. Doh!

  10. dolce says:

    otherwise known as a saflob

    Short at front
    long on back


  11. arbchick says:

    Ooohh…I’m with you….brrrrr…ya – but that’s ‘boxing’ female truckers isn’t it? How many female truckers have you met or are you just going on the movie stereotype?

  12. dolce says:

    OOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKK! point made and taken.

    I will not judge truckers by mullets alone!

    And I’ve met a couple of female (South African!) truckers actually….pretty tough women!

  13. arbchick says:

    Eeeek…jammer hoor. Bleeding gums – just a discussion….

  14. dolce says:

    Ag, Arb…I’m just standing down after a very cunningly made point! Just because my dilemma does not involve hair style choices, doesn’t mean I can judge.

  15. vapour says:

    I like trukin, I like trukin I like trukin and I like to truck
    On the road, you must be brave and tireless
    On the road, you can listen to the wireless

    On the road you eat cafe food with pride
    You can spew it up outside……..

    Ja trukin is good. (not)
    Great post though Dolce the other great thing it taught me is never ta trust a crittur with shifty eyes.

  16. arbchick says:

    Leave my fantasy alone ya bunch of realists!

  17. 302 says:

    And you could swagger about uttering Pale Rider truisms while the bullets are flying:

    UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You just shot an unarmed man.

    EASTWOOD: He should have armed himself.

  18. kyknoord says:

    There are no mistakes in life, some people say
    And its true sometimes, you can see it that way
    But people dont live or die, people just float
    She went with the man in the long black coat

  19. vapour says:

    Arb, Eastwood was the best Philosopher yet, “Opinions are like arseholes everyone’s got one”. Love that hahaha

  20. dolce says:

    Vapour – did you make that up all by yourself? Hilarious! And who you callin’ shifty?

  21. dolce says:

    302…there is something about Eastwood. That low voice. Those steely eyes. Mmmm.

  22. Ramon says:

    A slight case of Gemini-syndrome, Dolce?
    I can relate – great post!

  23. dolce says:


    There’s smoke on the water, it’s been there since June,
    Tree trunks uprooted, ‘neath the high crescent moon
    Feel the pulse and vibration and the rumbling force
    Somebody is out there beating the dead horse.
    She never said nothing there was nothing she wrote,
    She gone with the man
    In the long black coat.


  24. dolce says:

    Doh! Of course Ramona…I’d forgotten about my dual little star buttons. That’s it

  25. dolce says:

    vapour. He’s gotta way with words, don’t he?

  26. dolce says:

    arbie, so you’re fantasising about Trucker chicks now? oooh eeeer!

  27. Arbchick says:

    Jeezuz Dolce – and you ask me what I’ve got against you!!

  28. dolce says:


    You wanted more “spit ‘n growl” from the blog.

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