dolce and the god botherers

Right.  So I was lurking around a fairly popular blogspot.  One I don’t visit that often, but one that’s been around longer than most.  I’d formed a couple of opinions.  Thought I knew what the main gist was.  All rather positive. And then there it was.  An unexpected post filled with some fairly strong Christian sentiment.  And my instant reaction was to click the old mouse and navigate the hell out of there.

Fast.

Now.  This, rather unsurprisingly, made me ponder.  Why am I instantly turned off by rabid religious fundamentalist type folk?  Even by people who go to church on Sunday make me nervous.  I’m suspicious of them.  I get an ikky feeling.   And this is odd to me.  Because if they were expounding on Wicca or Druidism or even Buddhism or Taoism, I’d be ok.  It’s just the dreaded book bashers I’m not so hot on: Christians and Muslims.  And all their respective offshoots and subdivisions. 

Incidentally, I’m ok with the Jews.  They don’t feel the need to annex people. Noooo, they’d be quite happy if all the goyim just buggered off and died of too much bacon.

But I digress.  Again. If said blogger was muttering passionately, with his hands raised to the stained glass and his eyes closed, about his commitment to crocs, I’d be ok with that.  Even though I’d rather chew off my own feet than wear those plastic monstrosities* 

Ok, I don’t have the best track record, what with the wannabe Satanist boyfriend** and the defrocked priest.  I’ve never been happy with the “just have faith” and “god moves in mysterious ways” stuff.  I want answers.  Or at least plausible reasons why.  And I think that whole “thou shalt not kill.  Um. Unless the bad guys are really naughty and don’t do what we tell them” thing is a teeny bit hypocritical.  Don’t you? 

So what’s the deal?  Why can’t I get over this little sniff of bigotry?  It’s not cool and it makes me a hypocrite too, which feels even ikkier. Why am I so judgmental about the judgment day folk? Is it the cardigans?  No, that’s being silly.  Is it the wafer and wine eating, hand washing, cross burning, burkha wearing, not shaving thing?  Nope, I know people who do all of that stuff without causing me too much distress.  Apart from the cross burning.  I think.

Actually, I think it’s the alternatively glazed, rabid or doe-y look. That “I’m not going to be rational about this, dammit” glint in the eye.  That “if you stand still for a minute I’ll burn you or blow you up” look.  Or worse, that “I pity you, you infidel, heathen, lost lamb of God” look.That’s what makes me nervous.   I know what they do to lambs.  And I don’t like it.***

* I’m sensing a significant rise in ire from the religious and the croc wearers.

**who incidentally used to blog on the ‘mark.  How strangely apt.

***Mint sauce anyone?

P.S.  Kyk, I’ve been meaning to nod graciously in your direction in thanks for the footnote fetish.  I’ve been known to do it too, but I’m getting worse and it’s definitely your fault thanks to you!

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56 thoughts on “dolce and the god botherers

  1. K Chasu says:

    dolce – am the same. except any kind of rabid anything pisses me off. especially buddhists. you have to admit, that even though i write about catholicism there has been no preaching from me. can’t abide all this “my religion is the best so nyanyanyanya” crap people espouse.

  2. Dolce says:

    Funnily enough, most Buddhists don’t bother me. It’s hard to rant your religion at someone when you’re chanting “om” I guess.

    Nope, I don’t mind your catholic thread. But if I’m completely honest, it puts me off you a bit. That you buy into the schlock of the great papal state. But that’s my point. Why can’t I just not be bothered. It’s your Sunday morning (or when ever you head off for mass and confession) Why should I care? It’s really, really hard to shake. But I gotta, because it’s gross.

  3. K Chasu says:

    childhood issues maybe? we all have some hardcore Aunt somewhere in the family tree who was a serious god-botherer.

  4. Dolce says:

    Maybe. As funny as it was, the whole dfp thing was pretty hectic. That might have been it.

  5. kyknoord says:

    Oh sure, you’ll be bashing the Cayennetologists+ next.

    + But I’ll forgive you if you give me all your money

  6. Dolce says:

    Oh the Master CayenneCay himself. Never, never would I bash such a well constructed, clearfully planned and executed stab at world dominion. Banish the thought*.

    *(Especially the one about me giving you all my money)

  7. Vapour says:

    Ah Dolce bless you. I forgive you this trespass. The thing is though which ones best, does one shop around, or wait till the one you fancy comes back into fashion. Does one revert to a stoic perspective. What does one say if Christ comes back, do you get a second chance, what happens if Christ is an annunaki from the 12th planet. Its all bull I think. But if it’s real may god forgive me!

  8. Dolce says:

    Ha ha Vaps. It’s like a great big Cosmic Grand West Casino. Who will you bet on as the big honcho in the sky?

    I rather like the virtuous circle of energy theory. You get what you give out.

    Which, come to think of if, is probably why my man raised a derisive eyebrow at me while we were talking about “energy” the other night. That fukkin’ wheel man. It turns.

  9. morticia says:

    you reading sitchin, vaps?
    ever get the niggling feeling in the subconscious that you “know” while you’re reading his work?
    mmm.. that may just be another one of my “strange” moments!

  10. back the frock away from the crocs dolc.

  11. ChewTheCud says:

    Maybe it’s cos you been immersed in this religion since childhood. People from other religions probably find it mildly interesting. This is all just conjecture on my part because I get the fuck outta there when I smell religion 😉

  12. Arbchick says:

    Um – I agree Dolce……nasty stuff…Arb no like.

  13. vapour says:

    Morti I was following that line of thought. The problem is I hit a major obstacle specifically in the middle east. Seems to be a translation problem. have slipped back into Maya which according to what I am following is linked. There is a major intellectual battle at the moment between Sitch and the theologians, based on the translation of some of his work taken from the tablets created by the Sumerians. I watch with interest. However it seems that whilst the dispute surrounds space travel and the appearance of the Annunaki, the rest of his work is not in dispute, which is odd. The link though is key so hence the dispute.

  14. vapour says:

    Dolce yea but a derisive eyebrow is a bit harsh.

  15. I realised it from reading The Caged Virgin (still need to finish the book though!), & chuckled at the irony in yesterday’s news about Mulisms in London protesting about other people criticising their religion.

    It is the very basis of non-Muslim societies that allows them the freedom to have such say. One reason some Muslims move to European cities is because of the freedom they cannot find in their own Fundamental Muslim countries. Nicely ironic.

    Thank god for the secular countries, and that we allow the religious fanatics to have ” “I’m not going to be rational about this, dammit” glint in the eye”!

  16. K Chasu says:

    i see that a bunch of muslims are complaining because Swiss authorities have denied their building of a minaret in the middle of a city. the issue is not religion, but rather town planning which will not allow structures of more than a certain height. of course, these muslims are claiming it is discrimination. a bit off considering that in many muslim countries you cannot build a church.

  17. morticia says:

    Vapour – i had a very juvenile form of his theory racing around my head about twenty years ago – and no reason for it! it just sort of “arrived” in my head – maybe akashic record? dunno.
    i wonder if it is possible to have a belief in sitchins possibilities and yet retain a sense of awe? should be – re the blood of angels bit?
    as for the dispute – the rest doesnt make us look like a bunch of tossers who dont have a technological foggy. the argument about the space travel is never without a certain amount of egotism.
    his other bits are spiritually challenging, which wouldnt bother men of science.
    want a laugh? was told years ago by a psychic that the star people are aware of me!

  18. vapour says:

    morti the possibilities are endless. There is however a lot more to the space claims than just in sumaria. This is a major battle, and it depends who holds the key, the knowledge, the evidence. If it is allowed to be suppressed or used for the control of purpose then I fear the worst. I somehow believe that the truth will out as it always does.

  19. Aquila says:

    I thought ‘rabid religious fundamentalist type’ was a bit strong, but I feel you on the crocs thing…

  20. pwivoxfakv says:

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  21. robert says:

    Dolce,

    Gawd you have put your cute little size 6 right in it!

    Read some more of the content and you will find out a sad but true fact.

    Aquila is going through a torrid time healthwise and needs our support.

    Loadsa luv

    Bert

  22. jesus says:

    To be honest, a lot of it bothers me, too. Random prayers are a bit like spam.

  23. Spoegs says:

    Dear Jesus

    I have been struck by lightning on four occasions – please could you give me a reason for this. Will wearing thicker rubber soled shoes help?

    Spoegs

  24. Spoegs says:

    Dear Jesus – I would appreciate your reply on two questions. Apparently your mom has been spotted by a 17 year old girl in Benoni. Is there any truth to these rumours? Apparently Elvis was also spotted there recently – Is there any truth to the rumour that your mom and him are having an affair?

  25. Spoegs says:

    Dear Jesus – Sorry to bother you again. Another question just crossed my mind. Can you suggest ways of staring into the sun without damaging your eyes? Thanks Spoegs

  26. Dolce says:

    Lawd. Step away briefly and bam, Jesus pops in any everything.

    ExGW Oh no? Say it aint’ so? *weep*

    Arb crocs or jesus?

    Chew Dude, I think you’re on to something. Maybe the religion isn’t revolting, I am!?

    Morti & Vaps Look. Now I feel a little thick. But huh?????

    Champers Couldn’t agree more! Y’all do what you want and I’ll do what I want!

    KC *rolls eyes* haha – I love these little ironies!

    Aquila Hey! Thanks for the pop in. Appreciated. See, I knew we had something in common. We all do, when we get past the assumptions. Ta for being cool, Aquila.

    Bert I hear ya! Aquila is in my wiffly waffly agnostic equivalent of prayers.

    Jesus Hola bru! I was assuming I might get smote. But just goes to show, you just have kak spin doctors.

    Spoegs Are you starting the religious equivalent of a “yo mama” spat on my bloglet?

  27. Spoegs says:

    Dolce – no intention of starting a spat. These are just questions that bother me on a daily basis. What do you mean by “yo mama”?

  28. no no dolc, that was kinda like a RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIVES vibe happening there. *vom*

  29. dex says:

    Spoeggies:

    yo mama is so fat, you have to roll her in dough to find the wet spot.

  30. Spoegs says:

    Yo, Yo, Yo – Oh

  31. Semisweet says:

    yo mamma so short she can do backflips under the bed

  32. Arbchick says:

    Wow Dolce – that’s like choosing between eating eyesnot or nosesnot……brrrrrrr….no bloody comment.

  33. Dolce says:

    exGW *phew* I mean, after all you live in the UK right? You can shop at The Office and stuff. You get to afford shoes we can only drool at in American sit coms.

    Btw, I’ve been thinking. Do you think there is a correlation between those prone to religosity and croc wearing?

    Mmmm?

    Spoegs And there you go, true to form, Jesus pops in, complains about the amount of prayer spam he’s getting and just when the questions start, he’s off turning water into wine.

    Dex I miss you, you big pile of steaming crap whisperer.

    Semi Eassssy there, china! My moma is kinda short. We have to be sure we know where she is before we hoover. That kind of short.

    Arbie *gag* Godddddammmit woman. Naaaasty. Ik Ik Ik. I’ve never eaten eyesnot before, but I have to draw the line somewhere!

  34. Arbchick says:

    LOL Dolce…see that you didn’t deny eating nose snot before, ya dirty pretty thing……….

  35. K Chasu says:

    oi! i wear crocs and am a catholic. artist wears crocs and is, um, vacuous in that department.

    poor theory.

    i found a place in rosebank that makes croc bling. very cute.

  36. Arbchick says:

    K Chas….please stop reminding me you wear crocs – you’re this close to losing your ‘cool chick in hot boots status’

  37. Semisweet says:

    Sorry Dolce!

  38. dolce says:

    Arbie Trust eagle-eyed Arb to spot that little faux pas. Moi? Mange noseputty? Jamais!

    KC I don’t care how bling they get, they’re U.G.L.Y. KC, we’re just agreeing to disagree here. EW!

    Semi Jokes lady! Yo mama’s so fat, you have to slap her arse and catch the first wave in!

  39. Semisweet says:

    No Dolce, I meant sorry yo mama is so short … lol

    Yo mama is so thin she can do a u-turn in a hose-pipe 🙂

  40. two words Dold, two words: Harrods Sale.

  41. make that “DOLC” (i like the shortened version)

  42. Dolce says:

    I donno, I kinda like “Dold”….exactly how I feel today. Old.

  43. i’ll feel that way tomorrow.

  44. Spoegs says:

    Dolce – Based on your “Yo Mama” query I’ve wracked my brains for one and come up with the following. Would this qualify: Yo Jesus – your yo mama was so ugly she needed divine intervention to get pregnant?

  45. Dolce says:

    ExGW and what are YOU up to this fine friday evening, Ms GW?

    Spoegs Bad spoegs, bad! It’s that kinda talk that’s going to get you smote again (*smothered cackle*)

  46. Spoegs says:

    PANTOFL – use english for FFS

  47. Dolce says:

    Spoegs Huh? Yo mama se pienk fluffy pantofl.

  48. Spoegs says:

    Hey – you, you sharp like a razor hey.

  49. Dolce says:

    No seriously, Spoegels. “use english for FFS”….huh?

  50. Dolce says:

    whoa! Ok, I’m getting it! For Feks Sake!

    But what the hell does PANTOFL stand for? And why must I use English/ It’s Friday Fiz Brain

  51. Spoegs says:

    PANTOFL – afrikaans word for slipper. Is smote a real word?

  52. Dolce says:

    I might have made smote up. As in “God shall smite thee”. Only in the past tense. Smote.

    Or something.

    Lalalalalalaalalalalalaladeeedddeeeedum.

  53. Spoegs says:

    haf you effer smote druks?

  54. Dolce says:

    juslaik, spoegs. I fort a smote was that water what live round a kastle. And not like that beer eeffer.

  55. Spoegs says:

    Common misconception.

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