remember

A shadow marks time across my body. A wasteland of moon light and the silhouettes of leaves. I can’t sleep. I can’t slip into unconscious. Can’t leave the real for the dream . Instead. I lie here. And turn the thought of you over in my mind. I count the hours remembering the trace of your fingers. The way your hand fit my hip. The way your breath slowed and shallowed as the night slipped on. The shape of you in the dark. The smell of you. I remember the questions you asked. The way you held my hand. The way you took your coffee and how your voice changed when you spoke to your mother. I remember the feel of your chin in the hollow of my shoulder. The way you cleaned your teeth. The way you squeezed the tube from the middle. I remember how you cried. And that when you laughed, the whole room changed colour. I remember how often you closed the door. How many times you tucked my hair behind my ear. How the smell of mountain air would make you smile. I remember. I don’t know who you are. But I remember you.

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11 thoughts on “remember

  1. 302 says:

    i’ve always loved longing, emotively not necessarily been stuck in the moment, I like it because it’s raw and honest and is reflective of the stuff that you can’t always articulate but it’s there residing in the murky subconscious and ‘memories always start around midnight…’

    here’s all of the googled lyrics:

    Round Midnight
    Thelonious Monk

    It begins to tell,
    ’round midnight, midnight.
    I do pretty well, till after sundown,
    Suppertime I’m feelin’ sad;
    But it really gets bad,
    ’round midnight.

    Memories always start ’round midnight
    Haven’t got the heart to stand those memories,
    When my heart is still with you,
    And ol’ midnight knows it, too.
    When a quarrel we had needs mending,
    Does it mean that our love is ending.
    Darlin’ I need you, lately I find
    You’re out of my heart,
    And I’m out of my mind.

    Let our hearts take wings’
    ’round midnight, midnight
    Let the angels sing,
    for your returning.
    Till our love is safe and sound.
    And old midnight comes around.
    Feelin’ sad,
    really gets bad
    Round, Round, Round Midnight

    by Thelonious Monk

  2. dolceii says:

    I wonder what it is about the dark of night and the rise of the past (or the future). Maybe that’s when our lives slow down enought to sense that the stuff ain’t working.

    I like Thelonious Monk.

    Thanks 302. Again.

  3. bluepete says:

    ok either you have an active dream / fantasy life or you’re on intimate terms with a complete stranger. Sounds exciting.

  4. dolceii says:

    Nah, it’s just a construct. “Remembering” someone I haven’t met yet. Toying with the idea of cell memory and destiny. Y’know. Just an average day in the mind of Dolceroo.

  5. Jam says:

    So beautiful Dolce.
    Reminds me of the way in which I find myself unable to let go right now.
    I know who mine was. And I still lie there and dream.

  6. Dolce, Jam et al,

    Morning!!

    Go check out my site. Dolce, sorry about the ‘dark night’ theme. I was not aware you were covering it too.

    What I need to know is where is Kattbox’s site? I want to make contact. I did a very silly thing and need her advice.

    Oh golly gosh mamma! AM I a chickenshit yellw streaked SOB or what??!

    Let me know where her site is. I click on the blogroll link on the right but get nowhere. Is she still blogging?

    Love n hugs and early morning Colgate breath etc!

    Mwah

    R

  7. dolceii says:

    Yeah, Jam. I think the remembering is sometimes more of a hankering for those things that almost were.

    And I don’t think we ever really let go. We just loosen the ties.

  8. dolceii says:

    Hey Bertie. Ja, I’m not sure where Katt is gone too – Kyk might know….

    Can we help with the silliness and yellow-streakedness?

    I LOVE morning colgate breath!

    Mwah back at you honey bean.

  9. Wow – I wonder why Katt has dropped out of Blogosphere? I hope it is to write that great novel she has inside her.

    And as for you madam – you simply have to sign up too. You need to get that book out of your head and onto the pages NOW!

    I know the book is in that kop of yours. Do it. Write it. We can then be compadre’s of the quill!

    Hoot or what?!

    OK thanks for letting me know about Katt. Daresay anyone reading this can please point me in her direction.

    Thanks a million and sign up now! I dare you.

  10. Oh and as for Colgate breath – I like the cocktail of Colgate and Listerine! Yummy and Zingy.

    Smooch smooch!

    R

  11. dolceii says:

    Ha! As if, Berts…I can’t concentrate for more than 5 seconds, let alone a whole book.

    but thanks, possum. You sure know how to make a girl feel squishy! And with minty fresh breath too!

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