Dolce and the East Benoni Tow Truck Convention*

Dolce wandered the aisles of the East Benoni Tow Truck convention. It wasn’t the African sun that was making her sweat like a blind lesbian in a fish and chips shop. No. It was the sheer pleasure of a whole room of mullets, tats and supped-up engines. She saw Frik bending over the lip of his monster, fiddling with the machine in the dark cavity of the truck, the crack of his skinny arse peeking over his stone wash Lee jeans. She recalled the feel of his hands on her koeksuster. She knew he was a bad oke, but fok, there was something about oil under a mans fingernails that made her so hot, she couldn’t see properly.

But the East Benoni Tow Truck Convention wasn’t the time or the place. She hadn’t put on her best bright orange crocs to waste on Frik, who lets face it, had the taste of a Vereeniging Tannie. I mean, come on. Who actually wears red vellies anymore?

Instead, she made her way to the back of the tent. And there he was. D.d.d.d.d.d.ex. Her dream oke. Man, that guy had style. His brilcreamed mullet shone in the dusty light and his tight, black jeans caressed every curve of his meaty thighs. The off-white, grimy vest showed off his brown and white arms to perfection and his winklepickers (with only a slight heel) were scuffed in an utterly sexy way. He cracked a black label and swallowed the whole thing in a minute, then smashed the can flat against his forehead. Dolce nearly came in her 3for2 Mr. Price panties.

She smoothed down her rokkie with sweating palms and pulled her pony tail tighter. With a deep breath, she stuck her boobs out, put one hand on her hip and said;

“Hey, Dexie. Wanna rev my motor?”

*For Dex, who built this


11 thoughts on “Dolce and the East Benoni Tow Truck Convention*

  1. kyknoord says:

    Orange Crocs? Jislaaik, but that’s sexy, hey!

  2. dolceii says:

    I’m telling you, Mr Noord. The okes dig them lank!

  3. So you have a mullet fetish….hahah!!

  4. Martin says:

    Don’t joke. I actually kinda started growing a mullet (unintentionally) about a month or so ago.

    Except, mine was more stylish, and pronounced mulleh. Like the French.

  5. dolceii says:

    @ Revo > Jussus, oke. Why can you like to be laffing? I know you is jealous of the S.O.S.L.O.B (short on sides, long on back). You know you want one. With a matchin’ ‘tash.

    @ Martin > Ggaaaghhahahaaaa….yummy! Like that old movie where the red haired banjo player falls in love with the honkey tonk hooker.. Mullet Rouge.

  6. Suddenly I am incredibly excited for my two day conference on the East Rand… Bring on Benoni, babbbeeee!

  7. dolceii says:

    Champers, darlin’….I can like to be kak jealous. All that white pump shoes and applique stone wash denim.

    (I’m going to be in deep poo if any of our blogbuddies are from Charlezeville!)

  8. crayola dude says:

    Sweet jesus… I’m so hot right now. Boy Scouts could camp under this thing.

  9. dolceii says:

    Crayola Dude…happy I could share the love, cowboy.

  10. SheBee says:

    Good god, I laughed at this, the comments are even better!

    What took me so long to read your blog?!

  11. dolceii says:

    Thanks Sheebbbbs. You’re welcome to hang out anytime.

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