In the palm of my hand is a small creature.  A tiny insect beast.  Sturdy carapace.  Brown armour.  Antennae waving.  Legs tickling over the pink of my skin.  A life so small, I wonder at its purpose.  The purpose of this energy, bustling over a monstrous terrain.  The valleys, plains and slippery contours that make the panorama of my hand.  The comparison of us.  Large and small. And I wonder if I seem small, insignificant, to some other being.  If my bustling and strife seems inconsequential.  And I breathe into the moment.  Laughing at my own self-importance.  My stupid ego.  Huge and railing and the unfairness of things.  Happy to shrug off the mantle of want.  The responsibility of getting it right.  Happy to smooth the wrinkle of day to day zealousness from my forehead.  Content to just sit in a warm patch of winter sun and watch the clumsy stalkings of a beetle.

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12 thoughts on “Beetle

  1. Hmm…

    In my opinion, you’re only as worthy of an ego as your head allows.

    At the end of it all, regardless of wheather anyone or anything else believes it to be or not, you’re as useful as your mind allows.

    What is existance outside of your mind? Nothing.

  2. Pete says:

    One of my favourite psychologists talks about the “shattering of the ego” as a very healthy process. A difficult one though.

  3. kyknoord says:

    It all depends on what’s bugging you, doesn’t it?

  4. thegnukid says:

    i will turn my face to the sun today and, for the moment, think only buggy thoughts… and be happy doing so…

  5. daisyfae says:

    did you play “launch the beetle”? beetles want adventure, too – at least i want them to want adventure. so flicking him skyward is doing him a favor. moreso than dropping him in front of a car to make sure the beetle knows fear… Yeah, yeah, yeah… The Beetles…

  6. Dolce says:

    @ Christopher > Exactly. But sometimes the mind is fooled into thinking the there is more at stake than there actually is. I just have to remind myself that my life is small. And mine. And to let go a little. Or a lot. Oh, and welcome to the good life.

    @ Pete > Don’t know that I quite ready to “shatter” it…but a little perspective was nice 🙂

    @ Kyk > Moth you go there? Antognising the situation? Don’t try and butter(fly) me up. It’s just not cricket.

    @ Gnu > A bit of sun…a magnifying glass…a line of ants….NO. NO. NO. Bad Dolce. That was before….

    @ Daid > You’ve watched BEE Movie one too many times, haven’t you?

  7. thegnukid says:

    Did it… had a nice moment this morning in the parking lot where i looked sunward and just had bug thoughts. Very nice. Then i tried to wave my antenna, like your post said to do. Didn’t have one, so waved the next best thing.

    I see the judge next Wednesday…

  8. Parenthesis says:

    Gnukid: mwhahahahaha!

  9. Dolce says:

    @ Gnu > Darling. That’s not an antenna. It’s an anaconda. You should be more careful! Tut tut.

    @ Ms P > He is a bit wicked isn’t he? And how was your birthing day, chica?

  10. Ja egos. Such crazy things. I’ve heard that they’re supposed to keep us together. From dying. But loads of the time I just don’t get that.

  11. Parenthesis says:

    Birthday was brill, thanks dear, oodles of gifts, lots of red wine, lovely. Still celebrating it in fact, dinner with friends on the day, family bash last night, more friends and red wine this evening. You should pop in 🙂

  12. Dolce says:

    @ Mands > Ja. Sometimes if feel like I don’t have one at all, or rather a fucked up mutated one that’s just stunted and weird. Other times, I seem to think the world might implode if I’m not stressing my bean off. Humans, hey?

    @ Ms P > Good! Delighted it was a good one. And I would. But I’m in Grahamstown! Next year 😉

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