Man, oh man, oh man! My eyeballs have only just reattached themselves back inside their sockets. Last Thursday I spent an hour and a half watching two Aussie blokes fiddle with their willies.
And I paid good money. And it was in a proper theatre, nog al. Not some seedy joint off Long Street. No. I swear. It’s an actual show. At the Baxter Theatre, daahling. And it’s coming to a theatre near you.
The Puppetry of the Penis , or “The Ancient Aussie Art of Genital Origami” is one of the strangest, funniest, most honest pieces of au natural human comedy I think I’ve ever seen. Only Aussies could create an internationally performed comedy show featuring “dick tricks”. They’ve been on the Jay Leno show, for goodness sake. These boys are making bucks out of being buck naked and they’ve been doing it for a decade. Or as one of the performers says, “a dickade”.
In the parlance of the interweb, WTF, you might ask, giggling. Well, according to their website, Puppetry of the Penis was the brainchild of Simon Morely, who was inspired by his younger brother, Justin. As an ordinary Aussie lad, Justin demonstrated to Simon the very first penis installation – ‘The Hamburger’. Apparently “natural sibling rivalry resulted in the evolution of a grand repertoire of genital gesticulations.” The rest is history. Simon teamed up with fellow puppeteer David Friendand and in 1998 the show was born.
Since then, they’ve toured the stages of the world, from London to Los Angeles, Melbourne to Manchester. And now our fair shores. Two grown men. Naked on a stage. Making shapes out of their dingles. I kid you not. Who knew what boys could do with their apparatus? The Pelican, the Boomerang, the “wors roll”. Even Uluru, Australia’s monumental sacred desert mountain. All delivered with the dry, self-deprecating humour of the antipodean.
But a warning. It’s not for the faint hearted. And it’s certainly not for the prudish or squeamish. But if you go, you will be amazed. You will be faintly appalled. You’ll be secretly delighted. And no doubt you’ll be wondering if you (or your bloke) could do the same thing with your John Thomas.
For those folks in Jozi….The Puppetry of the Penis will be running at University of Johannesburg Arts Centre from the 1st to the 11th October. Bookings at Computicket