In an idea stolen shamelessly from Daisy Fae*, here are some of my observations on traveling:
Flying with a hangover is not fun. Particularly when the turbulence kicks in and the guy next to you smells of anchovies.
Hotels rooms are designed to give you bruises. Fumbling about in the dark at 2am trying to find the loo is dangerous. And bloody stupid. Hotel commandment: thou shalt know where the lights are.
Unfamiliar traffic is only good when you have a car reg from another province. Then you can drive like a twat and get away with it. Car hire places could charge extra.
When you finally have DSTV (cable) in your room, room service on tap and a wide open evening, there will be nothing to watch and nothing appetizing to eat.
Your data cable will fail when you’ve planned to lie in a bit and watch the soapies while you check email before your 10am meeting. You will have to get up even earlier than normal to get to a wireless hot spot to check the meeting details.
All meetings will be scheduled at opposite ends of the town you’re in, regardless of how much you try and plan a decent route.
At meetings, everyone else will drink Vida É Frappachinos, while you’ll have to drink Tea Spoon Tips extra strength because you gave up coffee after that incident with the stapler.
When you finally have a chance to talk to the boss about a critical issue, he will take 6 phone calls and keep smiling wryly and condescendingly while saying “sorry, this won’t take a minute”.
Beating your head against walls will only give you a headache.
However, on the upside, you can hook up with crazy tent dwellers, have an illuminating chat about the circle of inefficiency and look forward to a gathering of the 27.
* She, who travels often and wide and shares deliciously