Mind the Gap: Russian Roulette on the London Underground

I’m full of sickness. And not in the rad street way. Gah.  Meh. My head is full of multicoloured slugs trying to escape from my nose.  Hardened lumps of concrete fill my sinuses*.  A bubbly hack is turning into a gutteral bark.  Gorgeous.  And, just for good measure, the downside to the lovely spring is the not so lovely hayfever.  Didn’t I just do that back home?

Anyway.  Despite the odd moment of weeping on colleagues, having to cancel a very cool lunch and generally being a miserable git, I’m now feeling a little better and can ponder how I picked up this particular virusy goodness.

I’m blaming The Tube.  Long, largely underground tunnels of trains, linking all parts of London.  Mostly a fabulous idea, especially for a girl from SA, a country which has no public transport to speak of.   But also often packed to the gunnels with smelly, sneezy, grumpy, armpity people, who are too busy hanging on for dear life to cover their mouths when they cough or sneeze.

And of course, since many of them are literaly miles and miles and miles underground, all those lergies have a lovely warm, stale breeding ground to swim about in.

Cue sicky the sick instect.

Bah.  Humbug.  Sniff.

One of *two* massive escalators you need to escape Holburn Underground Station

One of *two* massive escalators you need to escape Holburn Underground Station

* Thank you, scientisty people, for Sudafed.  Grateful grovel.

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19 thoughts on “Mind the Gap: Russian Roulette on the London Underground

  1. daisyfae says:

    holborn made me dizzy…

    as for your theory? something to it. “Tube” rhymes with “goob” and that’s what your head is now full of… can’t be coincidence. but if it’s green and crunchy? you probably need antibiotics. you sexy girl…

  2. Seraphine says:

    awww. i’m sorry you’re sick!
    not having tubes in SA is def a clue. you haven’t been exposed to london viruses, so you’re suseptable. and shame on the “armpitty” people who don’t cover their faces when they sneeze or cough.
    somebody should throw skittles at them.

  3. nursemyra says:

    edible skittles or the kind you knock down with a bowling ball?

    Dolce, you’ll have to start wearing a face mask like the chinese do…. less chance of inhaling viruses and people will stay away from you too

  4. betenoir says:

    that happened to me on the Sapporo undergound once: someone sneezed on me during rush hour and within half an hour I was feverish and snotty. lovely.

    get weller soon!

  5. The Pete says:

    Man oh man.
    I do the commute to Holborn every day too.
    If you’re coming up from the Picadilly line (which I assume you do seeing as you come in from Wimbledon), just as you think you are near freedom, you have to negotiate the Central Line crossover before the escalators. One of the worst pieces of design ever.

  6. kyknoord says:

    I’m with nursemyra on this one. If you wear a Darth Vader mask, it’ll be even better. Get well soon, ‘k?

  7. Sorry you are sick. A cold on top of allergies? Poor baby. Take care of yourself.

  8. Sassy Miss P says:

    Reminds me somewhat of the butterfly in “You’ve got Mail”. The one that got on at x street and off at y, on its way to puchase a hat at Bloomingdale’s. The wreething mass of humanity that uses the tube every day, must be every virus’s wet dream. Hope you feel better soon.

  9. 302 says:

    dolce is not feeling well today can you please excuse her from school while she recovers.
    (insert adult signature)

  10. Dolce says:

    @ Dais > off to find a doc tomorrow. And it’s more brown and lumpy than green and crunchy.

    @ Sera > I think you’ve got a cracker idea there…tube bowling….

    @ Nurse M > don’t joke..I actually thought about it the other day. It can be rather phoeffy!

    @ Bete > fanks me darlin’…with any luck I’m on the mend. Otherwise there is going to be some serious sulking.

    @ The Pete > fortunately I don’t have to do the Holborn run everyday…otherwise I’d be that tube rage girl, bashing people out my way.

    @ Kyk > <> train driver, I am your passanger <>

    @ Silverstar > Hatin’ the lergies. Even the hayfever would be the happier alternative!

    @ Ms P!!! > Where have you been? And do viruses have wet dreams? Ewwwwwww!!

    @ 302 > Thanks dad! *grin*

  11. hisqueen says:

    and you thought the grey tracksuit, parka, and 3 pairs of socks were just to look sexy–should have worn it in the tunnel–they would have thought you were crazy and stayed away..especiallly w/ an added mask

    Get well soon =)

  12. beaverboosh says:

    Hey girl, hope you are now feeling a bit better, nose wedgies are a killer. When I lived in London and commuted I was sick 3-4 times a year. I have not been sick once in Oslo in 3 years, though professional life is depressing! The downside of the choice to share your space with 8M people eh, or in my case, 800K.

  13. Sassy Miss P says:

    As to where I have been, new job been keeping me pretty damn busy, working in a news room is deadline and adrenaline driven 🙂

  14. Dolce says:

    @ hisqueen > or I could start a new trend!

    @ Booooooooosch > I’m movin’ to Oslo!

    @ Ms P x 2 > Yuk. x 2 😉

  15. Pete says:

    Sorry about all the horrible lurgies. And I like the mask idea. (I can just see the photos on facebook!) Get better soon.

  16. beaverboosh says:

    Great family life, professional suicide! Foreigners definitely not welcome… at least rude ones line me!

  17. egadfly says:

    How often do you do the Holborn run? Thing is, I usually work about 100m from Holborn tube, so if you’re likely to be found nearby then I must hunt you down – following which, together we must stalk and capture a place of lunching/boozing/lurking.

    Also, this means you have to get well soon.

  18. Dolce says:

    @ Pete > and sorry to hear about your mum – is she ok?

    @ Booooooosch > You? Rude? Surely not?

    @ Egadfly > Not that often. But once I am recovered, the lurking/boozing/lunching shall be done! Either there, or somewhere else. Indeed.

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