AWOL*

Overwhelmed. A skewed view. Failure a very real option. Fear. Inadequacy. Off kilter. A healthy dose of fuck you. Each hour stolen against another. And the questions my daily companion: Am I up to this? Do I really care? Can I afford to fail? What happened to my quieter life? Will my friends beat me if this poor me act gets boring?

*So, this is my apology.  For not spending enough time with ya’ll.  Project teh scary and big.  Girl feeling very little.

P.S. Reunion good.  Very good.  I am so lucky. Lucky lucky lar lar lark. Yes. *stupid grin*

P.P.S So I’m not all whinge whinge.

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28 thoughts on “AWOL*

  1. daisyfae says:

    alright, kiddo. a moment of serious wisdom about to be bestowed, with not an ounce of sarcasm or bullshit… standby.

    there are three general ‘zones’ when it comes to life. “Comfort zone” is staying where we can do what we do with our eyes shut. Phoning it in*, doing it well, but without much effort. At the farthest reaches is the “Panic Zone”. We flail, we flap, we throw our arms out of the water seeking rescue. We learn nothing, and shit ourselves.

    The place you need to be sometimes is that awkward little place outside your comfort zone, but short of the panic zone. Whatever the fuck you want to call it, that’s where we grow. We get better. We fuck up a few things and if we’re paying attention, we learn something. We surprise ourselves with what we were able to do. We test our limits. We kinda feel good about it 2 months after it’s done…

    Knowing nothing about teh project, can’t really offer any thoughts on whether it’s too far out there and in the panic zone. But you know the answer to that… What’s the worst thing that can happen? You’ll still be getting nailed properly on a regular basis, right?

    *my strength, by the way…

    • Dolce says:

      @ Dais > aw man, Daisy Kenobi, you rock. I know all of this. When I’m being rational, I know all fo this. And it’s not so much the big as the time frame. Eish. But thank you. Very much.

  2. thegnukid says:

    you’re human… allow yourself to be. true friends will stand by you…

    be you.

  3. robinaltman says:

    So sorry you’re feeling overwhelmed. I’ve been there many a time. I’d love to be able to give wise advice, but I think I just took a klonipin and went to bed. That’s just not incredibly helpful, now is it?

  4. Seraphine says:

    i hate feeling overwhelmed too. hang in there, dolce! hugs.

    • Dolce says:

      @ Sera > I just hate that my relationships (real and imagined) suffer for it. I miss trawling around teh interwebs on a more regular basis. My computer is FAR less fun with out the added humanage lurking in it’s depths.

  5. nursemyra says:

    yeah babe, you’re still getting nailed on a regular basis as daisyfae says.

    and I’m pretty sure you’ve got the cojones to nail teh project too

    • Dolce says:

      @ Nurse > my cahjones feel like pickled walnuts at the moment. But fortunately, my bitch bistles are still functioning well 🙂

  6. kyknoord says:

    This project needs more cowbell!

  7. hisqueen says:

    your friends may roll their eyes after a few too many whines but have no fear, when they hug you too tight its a bit of a “punch” and a huge “we love you”.
    Everyone thinks they fail at some point in time, what you think is failing may actually be the best thing to ever happen. (fine example is you and kyk….if his marriage hadn’t “failed” how would you two have ended up together.) not the same as a big work project but sometimes you have to go with the old “fuck you” and let things fall where they may..
    hugs and kisses…(Kyk will deliver these as I’m sure he would promise to do for all of us)

  8. Hang in there. I agree with Nurse Myra, you have the cojones to do the project. Well, I hope so anyway. And as Daisy Fae said, there are other compensations.

  9. Tyger Katt says:

    We seem to be in the same space at the moment. Want to share notes? And booze? And choccies? And decadent cheese? And… oh what the hell, let’s get fat!

  10. beaverboosh says:

    Glad to hear the reunion went well! What the hell have you done to him, he’s stopped blogging?

    • Dolce says:

      @ Boooooosch > I did nothing! It was just as much as a surprise to me. Well, no, actually I had about half a days warning, but like any silly chick, I said ‘yes dear’ and poured another glass of whine, not paying too much attention. And then I wonder over to my favourite little daily fix of Kykgoodness and ……WHAAAAAAA THE FAAAAAAA…..?

  11. nursemyra says:

    Dolce, I hope you’re not going to stop blogging too….?

  12. Rox says:

    Shame chick, hope things settle down soon!

  13. Pete says:

    Good luck with the big, scary project and am very happy that things going so well. I’m sure you’ll kick some ass (or whatever the appropriate image is)! So did you stop by the Sexpo? Every time I see that smiling woman on the poster I think of Dolce 😉

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