How curious this. This breaking of rules. This exploration of darkness. This permission to be bad. I know it’s the other side of a coin. I know it’s not safe. I know I shouldn’t. I know there will be regrets. I know. I know. I know. But…
A boy said to me, once a long time ago, “I want to suck the marrow out of life”. I keep coming back to that. To the choice one has. To exist. Or to live. The crazy challenge being to brave the hurt without hiding. To brave experience without building a callus of uncaring. To be fierce without causing harm.
Sometimes I wonder how I’ve reached 36 and can still be so naïve. And sometimes I grin with glee that there is still so much to do. That old adage, that the only thing you’ll really regret are the things you didn’t do.
It’s been a good / bad week. And I’m not entirely sure what to do with what it’s brought me?