Your face hard and cold. Like slate. Like stone. Shocking. Your kind, beautiful face. The face I knew so well. Knew with my eyes, my mouth, my hands. Your face. Closed and hard and cold. The light that used to greet me. Gone. Completely gone. And I wonder; do I deserve this? This casual cruelty. Did I make this happen? Or is this just how this is? No part of you is mine anymore. Not even kindness. Just memory, and a certain rhythm, and words that ambush me. And I find I am sad all over again. With unexpected loss. And so all the things I had hoped to say, all the questions I finally had the courage to to ask, they dry up and drift away.