Trust

What if I told you a secret?  Gave you a piece of me that no one else had?  A piece like Venetian glass. Fragile and delicate.  What would you do?

Trust is such a curious thing.  You either do.  Or you don’t.  A choice at every single point on the path.  Can it be broken and fixed?  Or do those fine lines still show, where the broken pieces have been stitched back together.

Once I choose to trust, the bond is fierce.  Loyal.  But fuck it up, and I’m gone.  It’s the only way I know how to be. 

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20 thoughts on “Trust

  1. daisyfae says:

    it can be repaired, but there are cracks, and the resulting structure is weakened…

  2. My therapist says that trust is an integral part of any relationship. If the person has broken the trust, or trespassed a boundary, after that you “assess, assess, assess” rather than just trust. Eventually, after enough time, the wound can heal.

    I like to think of this situation more like a broken tree limb. Sometimes that wound can allow rot or fungus to enter the tree and kill it. Sometimes the tree is strong enough to heal over the wound and go on living, ultimately to be just as strong as it was before the break.

    And forgiveness is an integral part of the process. As well as wisdom.
    h
    In my own life I have experienced this breakage more than once: in situations where I was the one who trespassed the boundaries. On one occasion, the person involved chose to forgive me and move on. We both dedicated ourselves to mending the break, allowing it to heal. We are still together after 30 years. On the other occasion, the person chose to move on, saying she forgave me but actually dropping me as if I was garbage unworthy of even looking at. And so a friendship of 17 years died.

    • Dolce says:

      Aaah, it’s an interesting one. I suppose it also depends on the size of the transgression. I find it so difficult to trust anyone anyway…well, actually, that’s a lie. Some people I just trust instantly. Others. Not so much.

  3. hisqueen says:

    I have that happening to me now. We had my hubby’s best friend and wife move in with us since they were able to move here from another country but no jobs. Free rein of the house, free food…we were paying for everything while they look for jobs..The wife spent some time in Fl w /her mom (who is only visiting and has to leave soon) and stayed with her aunt and uncle. she loved florida and wanted to move there..but hubby said no he liked it here with us better. when she came back after being gone for over 6 wks she was acting strange..distant..not talking to us..got up and left in the middle of eating out for my hubbys b-day saying she had a stomach ache but told me later she wanted to look for a gift for my hubby…..the final blow was while I’m driving she takes off her seatbelt…I don’t allow that in the car and we told her to put it back on or go home. she argued that she’s not a baby and the belt hurts…she got yelled at by my hubby for being disrespectful and not obeying the laws..still didn’t indicate any apology or put the seatbelt back on..took them home, went on our errands and 2 hrs later they were packed and heading to the airport to go back to florida with out telling us until right as they were leaving. Hurtful…disrespectful…hopefully the aunt and uncle, who were not very receptive of them staying there especially with out jobs, will allow them to stay as long as they need to. They certainly won’t be allowed back in my house..No more trust..complete lack of respect for the one rule of the house…I can’t allow someone who is so disrespectful and unpredictable in my home.
    I’m hurt and angry and I may forgive eventually but there will be no mending of this broken fence. To give so much freely to someone I had just met and to be treated in such a way is not something I’m willing to do again.

    • Dolce says:

      WHAT??!! I’m with you. It’s like that knob who stayed with me in the world cup – and brought a whore home and she stole my camera. Never, ever doing that again. And that was a stranger.

      Jesus.

      I’d be livid.

  4. nursemyra says:

    I can keep a secret honey…. x

  5. robinaltman says:

    One of my good friends is trying to put her marriage back together after having had a 2 year affair with a drug addict convict (saw him for conjugal visits). She just told her husband, and they’re going for marriage counseling. It’s going to be a long road. If only she hadn’t brought the German Shepherd for the last conjugal visit…

    In seriousness – I’m a forgive and give trust again kind of girl. What the hell. Life is short. Except for the case of hisqueen’s torturous house guest. Those people should be placed in Florida for good.

  6. I historically have been a giver of second chances, but I find as I get older, I am less inclined to be so understanding.

  7. kono says:

    Chinaski- “Here are the keys.”
    Wanda – “You trust me?”
    Chinaski- “Yeah… it’s easier that way.”

  8. Rob says:

    I do not trust easily. I am also scrooge-like about it too, so I trust few. And for broken trusts, there are no do-overs; trust-breakers are dead to me. It’s a good thing I can tolerate my own company. I was more trusting when I was younger. Now? Not so much.

  9. thegnukid says:

    there are differet levels of ‘trust’. i trust some people with my deepest secrets and fears. i trust others only to show up at lunch within 10 minutes of when they said they would. the deeper the trust given,the harder it is to repair a break in that trust. but, that said, some are well worth the effort to restore, repair, and reestablish that trust. others? once borken, there’s no need to even try. i have people in both baskets, and some between. and i’d like to think i’m worthy of having someone else want to repair any fractures i may have caused (didn’t mean to…it happens). a toughie…good thought piece, luscious.

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