Expecting the unexpected….

I spent the larger portion on my early 30s desperate for a baby. In that quiet keening kinda way that disturbs small dogs and makes potential partners edge nervously for the door.  I even had a brief moment when I couldn’t imagine life having any meaning without the patter of tiny footsies.  And then I had to pull myself towards myself and come to terms with two clear facts: there was a good possibility that I was never going to have kids or if I did, I was going to be facing a non-traditional option.  

I weighed up the idea of various non-traditional approaches and eventually realised that doing things entirely on my own was probably not a road I wanted to go down.  So made some significant moves to investigating egg freezing. 

Not having kids took longer to get my head around than I thought it would.  But I did.  And the prospect was actually quite rad, to quote my 16 year old cousin.  International travel, less panic about stable income, sloth…yeah, I could do that. 

So imagine my surprise…

.Gah! It's ALIVE!

The universe laughs and laughs and laughs and laughs. 

If I dig deep for honesty here, I’m a little ambivalent.  I’d made other plans.  I’d shifted my perception of myself really rather drastically.  Mother was not fundamental to my sense of future self any more.  On the other hand, whoah!  Baby!  Squee!  A wee beastie in mah belleh.  A little zygote of pure loveliness.  Extraordinarily awesome. 

Fuck me.  Life does like it’s curve balls, don’t it?

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8 thoughts on “Expecting the unexpected….

  1. Robert says:

    Absolutely awesome and congratulations. Wow, La Dolce et Piccollini or will it be piccolina?

    I have found that the best mothers often turn out to be those who for many a year resisted the concept of birthing another human. And then one day or night, the spermchappie makes it happen!. I get the vibe that you will be a fantastic mummy.

    Well done you!

  2. Nice work, there. Bulls eye. When are you due? Daughters rule. Just one man’s opinion.

  3. daisyfae says:

    Very excited for you!

    “I’d shifted my perception of myself really rather drastically. Mother was not fundamental to my sense of future self any more.” <– THIS? The very foundation for an exceptionally balanced parent.

    You're gonna be a great mother! Enjoy the ride!

  4. Louisa says:

    Congrats! 🙂

  5. kono says:

    What are you fucking nuts? You know i’m kidding beautiful lady and i do believe you’ll do just fine with this mother thing, hell if i can do it anyone can, the parenting thing that is, i know nothing about birthing other than watching it was a nightmare… and to be blatantly honest my boyos saved my fucking life, the chances are i’d never had made 40 if they hadn’t come along, i honestly didn’t see the point, i lived fast and hard and wouldn’t have stopped and then they dropped this squirming ball of humanity and my hands and things suddenly changed, in short it’s the best thing i’ve ever done…

  6. kono says:

    and as a counterpoint to old Exile, boys are a blast and love their mom’s to pieces…

  7. Del says:

    This is what happens when I don’t read blogs on a regular basis! How did I miss this!??

    Congrats and we all look forward to ‘meeting’ the little dolce when he/she arrives!

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